Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood was pretty bad. There were a lot of things that made no sense. There were strange lost boys like in Peter Pan running wild in the woods. They wore burlap sack masks just like the Scarecrow in The Dark Knight. They were supposed to be orphans of the men who went to the Holy Land to fight the crusades. Um…okay. Don’t know why they had to give Cate Blanchett’s Marion such a hard time but I guess she’s their Wendy.
Elinor of Aquitaine makes an appearance with is kind of a strange throw-in for a Robin Hood story. That’s like The Lion in Winter stuff. Threw me off.
Richard the Lionheart gets killed early on, Prince John becomes King. Some French chick that is the cousin of the French King and John’s mistress elevates herself to Queen even though they never explain what happened to Prince John’s actual wife.
Russell Crowe’s Robin isn’t Robin of Locksley – the real Robin of Locksley gets killed by the bad guy from Robert Downey Jr.’s Sherlock Holmes. Russell Crowe pretends to be Robin of Locksley and to be Cate Blanchett’s husband.
Confusing stuff happens – everyone dresses for battle – the English fight the French on a beach like a medieval invasion of Normandy, but not before seeing a giant stone horse on a mountain side that is there for no goddamn good reason.
At the end – King John decided he doesn’t like Robin Hood after all, declares him an outlaw, and Robin and Marion set-up shop in the woods with the Lost Boys.
The movie was bad – the theater awesome. VIP Suite for $5. One of the better take-a-chance-on-an-internet-group things I’ve tried. Kudos to the girl that works at the theater and let us come and watch in the leather recliners.
